Dear friends of Kalle,
I want to thank everyone for being a friend of Kalle’s and helping my kids and I cope with our loss. As you all know, Kalle was a very special person to all of us. She was a great mother, a great wife, and a great person to call a friend – at times funny, other times inspirational, always dependable and always willing to lend an ear & help when possible. For those that knew her well know that her strong and cheerful personality drew people to her. She will certainly be missed by many and not just family.
Although Kalle & I went to the same junior high school and high school, we barely knew each other. Actually, I recall my friend & Koumbaro Paul, after hearing that another friend did not remember Kalle from high school, turns to me and says: “Peter, if he doesn’t remember her that means she was a good girl and therefore marriage material.” Well, he was right on the money. She went from being a good girl to a great wife and an even better mother.
She was 24, I was 25 when we saw each other on the train. One day and after a couple of phone conversations, she turns to her sister Mary and says: “I’m going to marry this guy.” Mary: “Did he ask you out? Has he expressed an interest?” Kalle: “No, he hasn’t, but I know that I will marry him. I can feel it.”
It was July 8th, 2 weeks after Kalle’s 39th birthday when she was diagnosed with endometrial cancer. The phone rings the minute we walked in our house. Kalle normally answers the phone but she is not in a mood to talk to anyone so I answer. It was my sister and, besides a hello, I cannot get another word out. As I’m gasping for air, my sister is screaming thru the phone “Peter, what’s the matter? Talk to me. What is wrong?” She repeats this about a dozen times before Kalle walks in the office, grabs the phone off my hands and says: “Hi, Peter is having a hard time telling you that I have cancer.” During her whole conversation she is very calm.
July 13th we go to Memorial Sloan Kettering to see the chief oncologist. He confirms the tumor, the size of a 3-month old baby. He says he is booked for the next 2 months but will squeeze us in to operate in 2 weeks. Hours later we’re waiting for some cat-scan (CT) results. As we’re waiting my ear starts ringing and since I’m searching for any clues that everything will be ok I ask Kalle to guess which ear is ringing. If she was going to guess right then we were going to get good news. Kalle: “The left ear.” She guessed wrong. Peter: “You guessed it. The Dr. will give us good news.” In the meantime I’m saying to myself that I don’t believe in superstitious stuff anyway so this means absolutely nothing. Kalle: “If I can read faces, the expression on the CT specialists face makes me a bit worried. It was as if he had just read my death sentence.” A couple of hours later the Dr walks in and says there has been a change of plans. He has cancelled the operation because the cancer has metastasized. We need to start chemotherapy right away. At this point Kalle and I are hoping to hear Stage II but no worse than Stage III. The Dr. says it’s Stage IV. Kalle and I had already done our research and we knew what Stage IV meant – 5% survival rate. I can’t hold back any more and I break down in tears. I am the one that should be giving her strength but I can’t find any strength in me – I can’t even stand up; it was as if my legs had been cut off. At this point Kalle asked the Dr. what her chances of survival are. Dr: “Around 20%. But please don’t focus on percentages. What good is it if I said you have a 99% chance of beating it and you end up being part of the 1% that doesn’t.”
The following day I’m scheduled to sign an employment contract with Bay Crest Partners and they want me to fly out 2 days later on a Thursday. Kalle is due to start chemo on Friday and there is no way I was going to miss her 1st chemo. I tell Kalle that I will not fly out on Thursday and there is no need for anyone at Bay Crest to know the reason why. The next day as I’m getting ready to sign the contract I tell John Carroll that due to a conflict in my schedule I will not be able to fly out on Thursday. He could tell that something was wrong by just looking at me so he asked: is everything ok? This is where I was supposed to say that everything was fine; just a conflict in my schedule. But again I brake down in tears. As I explain my situation I find myself for a second day in a row crying like I haven’t cried since I was a baby. JC: “Don’t worry, you should be with your wife and the partners here will understand. Do you mind if I just mention it to Billy Mulligan (one of the senior partners)?” A few minutes later Billy walks in and gives me a big hug and says: “Don’t worry. We all have families and family comes first. The job is yours whenever you are ready to start.” That’s the type of people that are running Bay Crest.
I’d like to take this opportunity to thank some of the people that were very helpful to Kalle & I during this difficult time. The list is so large that I will not be able to mention everyone here so please accept my apology if I missed your name.
*Mr. & Mrs. Donald B. Marron (no introduction is needed here but for those that don’t already know Mr. Marron was Kalle’s employer): Don & Catie, what can I say – some people are extremely successful, some people are extremely kind, but when a person has a combination of both qualities they deserve to be mentioned in “The Book of Great People.” If this book doesn’t already exist I will take the initiative to publish one. This world is so fortunate to have people like you. I cannot thank you enough. Catie, thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to take Kalle out to lunch, to visit her in the hospital, and for the countless of emails checking in to see how she was doing. Don, thank you for making Kalle’s last few months as comfortable as possible. She always felt that Lightyear was her second family and you really proved her right.
*Sofia Belesis (Kalle’s mom): For those of us that are parents, we know what a parents love means – we would give our lives to save our child without a second thought. Mom, thank you for spending so many nights over the house, taking care of the kids, while I spend my nights at the hospital with Kalle.
*Mary Belesis Baktidis (Kalle’s sister): Mary, thank you for everything you did the last several months. You were there to administer the injections to Kalle, to help Dimitri with his homework, and to bring over your endless meals. We couldn’t eat as fast as you were cooking for us. Especially thank you for being by her side – her heart was more at peace that way.
*Ekaterini Tropaitis (my mom): Mom, thank you for spending so many nights over our house, taking care of the kids, while I spend my nights at the hospital with Kalle. Also, thank you for your help with the kids since Kalle passed. Your presence has helped the kids tremendously.
*Maria Belesis Prontzos: To the crazy cousin from California (btw, I call her crazy because who else leaves her husband with 3 kids to travel across the country 4 times in 5 months to spend time with Kalle, to go with her for chemo, to massage her legs every night, to give her strength & hope, and so much more). Maria, thank you for not taking ‘no’ for an answer. Kalle was happy to have you by her side. Your cheerful personality was just what she needed. Prior to you coming out to visit us, she was overly conscious of her image and did not even want the kids nor myself to see her bald. Well, all she needed was 48 hours with you and The Bandana Chicks were out and about. Although there was always that phone conversation, the two of you had not seen each other in 20+ years. I’m glad you both became very close the last few months. Thank you for insisting on Kalle & I to go out for dinner & drinks while you stayed home with the kids.
*Maria Kapeleri (Greece): To the cousin that was more like a sister to Kalle. Maria, not the Mediterranean Sea nor the Atlantic Ocean was able to stop the two of you from forming a strong bond. You don’t need me to tell you this but she loved you just as much as you loved her and we all know that it was A LOT.
*Eleni Tropaitis (my sister): Eleni, thank you for insisting on helping and going with Kalle for chemo. Especially thank you for spending a couple of sleepless nights with Kalle & I at the hospital, massaging her, talking with her, doing anything to make her more comfortable. Also, thank you for your efforts to introduce us to alternative treatments.
*Maria Argyriou/Helen Grafakos/Trisha Tsamoutalis::To the friends & family that didn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Maria, thank you for insisting on going to the hospital with Kalle for chemo and for offering to use your 2-3 weeks of vacation to help us around the house during the chemo side effects. Helen, thank you for coming from North Carolina to be with Kalle during chemo, despite Kalle pleading with you not to leave your family. Trisha, thank you for insisting on going with Kalle for chemo. You always made her laugh and I am glad you were there for her.
*Andrea Kapassakis: Andrea, thank you for being more than a friend during the last 5 months. Kalle was very thankful to have you in her life. Also, thank you for the many meals you brought over.
*Kelly Gatanas: Kelly, maybe you didn’t know Kalle for a very long time but the minute the two of you met you were inseparable. Thank you for being there for her and thank you for shuttling the kids back & forth to Greek school.
*Popi Shinas: Popi, the two of you were best friends for the last 25 years. Thank you for being a good part of her life.
*Kathy Tropaitis: Kathy, thank you for the many offers to help despite the fact that you were pregnant.
*Stella Biniaris: Stella, thank you for being there for Kalle 24/7 when she needed someone to speak to.
*Georgia Mihailidis: Georgia, thank you for the many phone calls to Kalle & I to offer your help and possible alternative treatments.
*Ann Marie Kuder/Rose Worthy (Kalle’s colleagues): Thank you both for coordinating everything from transportation to and from chemo, to booking a private room every time Kalle had to be admitted. Ann Marie, thank you for making yourself available 24/7 – there were a couple of times we had to call you late at night. Also, thank you both for the visits to the hospital. She was very happy to be working very closely with both of you.
*Lightyear Capital: I want to thank the entire team at Lightyear Capital for all the visits to the hospital – it really made her happy to know that so many people cared for her and wanted to see her get better. Also, thank you for showering our kids with gifts for the holidays.
*Roxanne Davies (Switzerland): Roxanne, thank you for being such a good friend of Kalle’s, immediately researching alternative treatments, visiting her at the hospital during your short trip to New York. Kalle was very lucky to have you as a friend. And thank you for showering the kids with gifts for the holidays.
*Staff at Munsey Park School: There are many reasons we love Manhasset but if we had to name just two reasons it would be the people living there and the great schools. What makes a school is not how fancy the building is or whether they have Smart Boards or not. What makes a school is its staff and the staff at Munsey Park School are second to none. Thank you to all.
*Margaret Higgins/Manhasset Women’s Coalition Against Breast Cancer: Some people barely knew us when they heard of our devastating news and did not hesitate one minute to offer their help. Margaret, thank you for making the Manhasset Women’s Coalition Against Breast Cancer aware. Also, thank you for the books and magazines to keep Kalle busy during chemo sessions. The coalition was very kind in offering their help in many ways.
*Jen Desena/Manhasset Mothers Group/SCA: Jen was one of those people that didn’t know us at all but when she heard from the Manhasset Mothers Group that Kalle used to bake cookies for our kids instead of buying the one’s with preservatives from the supermarket, she did not hesitate one bit to get to work. The next day she came over with a plate of home baked cookies. By the second month I lost count how many times she dropped off cookies. The Mothers Group and the SCA were very kind in offering their help in many ways.
*Aimee Melkonian/Jeanne Pidedjian/Colleen Arnauld: Thank you for helping logistically with the kids activities. You have been a tremendous help.
*Lisa & Lizzy Rutkovsky/Christina Ahern/Chris Koundourakis/Lori Rowan/Vicky Hagobian/MaryAnn Jones/Heather McCuster/Christine Squillante/Becky Donahue/……:
Thank you all for the play-dates. It has been a great help.
*Bob&Rachel Titus/Joe&Molly DePietro: The neighbors that didn’t know us but were kind enough to drop off a big bag full of toys during the holidays.
I would also like to thank everyone who came to pay their respect and express their sympathy for the loss of our loved one.
I now would like to ask everyone for a favor. I’d like to create a memoir for each of the kids and would greatly appreciate it if you can send me any memories of Kalle that you may have.
Besides memories please feel free to also write anything about her that you liked or disliked. No need to only write fond memories. Although I expect most to be good because she was after-all a great person, I want the kids to have as realistic a picture of their mom as possible. I don’t want to give them something that sounds more like a fairy tale story. You can send me your memories at kpt97@optonline.com. By the way, we also lost 2 years worth of pictures that we had saved on our computer – so if anyone has any pictures to send, it would be greatly appreciated.
Life is full of experiences and every experience teaches us something, assuming we’re willing to learn. Well, this experience taught Kalle and I a thing or two. Therefore, before I stop writing I’d like to share with you the most important lesson which was also Kalle’s biggest regret when she reflected back on her life; and that lesson was not to sweat the small stuff. If you haven’t read the book yet, do yourself a favor and read it. Also, after you’re done reading it, keep it somewhere handy – I read it a few years ago but I can use a reminder once in a while.
Lastly, I just want to say that Kalle was very lucky to be surrounded by so many good people like you. The kids and I will always be grateful.
God bless you all and your loved ones.
Love,
